The bad news is...I have to wear this very fetching outfit in the summer....
Saturday, December 02, 2006
Dr. Contemplative Activist PhD.
Well, despite laryngitis and a tickling cough from hell, resulting in having to leave the room during my viva voce...I passed, with just minor amendments to be made to my thesis before I can deposit it, at last, in the British library never to be seen again. Hurrah!
The bad news is...I have to wear this very fetching outfit in the summer....
The bad news is...I have to wear this very fetching outfit in the summer....
Sunday, November 26, 2006
Monday, November 20, 2006
How to survive your PhD Viva
I have my viva (thesis defence for those in the States) coming up far sooner than I would like. (Then again, wasn't it me who begged and pleaded with the examiners to squeeze in a pre-Xmas viva so it wasn't looming over the holidays...)
Anyway, so I have been hunting down advice on the internet for how to manage the damn thing...
This is the best I have come across
Things to Say and Do Guaranteed to
Spice up Your Thesis and Dissertation Defenses
Begin the defense by charging a cover and checking for ID.
Charge a two-drink minimum.
Begin with "Ladies and Gentlemen, please rise for the singing of our National Anthem."
Follow that with a joke that starts with "Which reminds me of a story - A Black guy, a Chinese guy, and a Jew walked into a bar..."
Bring coffee and charge 25 cents a cup.
"Charge the mound" when a professor beans you with a high fast question.
Describe parts of your dissertation using interpretive dance.
Lead your committee members in a Wave.
Break the tension at appropriate moments with a sing-a-long.
Answer tough queries with "You call THAT a question? How'd you ever get to be a professor?"
Have bodyguards outside the room to discourage attendance of certain professors.
Present your defense using puppets.
Before you begin your presentation, sell T-shirts to recoup the cost of copying, binding, etc.
In addition, pass a collection basket.
Answer complex issues in mime.
Use the ocassion to hold a Tupperware party.
Have bikini-clad models in charge of changing your overheads.
At approximately the mid-point of your defense bring out maracas and shout "Everybody rumba!!"
Explain nonsignificant findings with "It would have worked if it weren't for those f*%ing kids."
Refuse to answer tough questions "in protest of our government's systematic and brutal opression of minorities."
Offer door prizes and conduct a raffle.
Ask professors to "Please phrase your question in the form of an answer."
Interrupt every 15 minutes with the announcement "And now, a word from our sponsor."
Present critical parts of your defense in iambic pentameter.
In your announcement, inform your committee that it will be a black tie affair.
Hire the Goodyear Blimp to circle the building.
Announce to your committee that "There will be a short quiz after my presentation."
Bring your pet boa.
Bring snacks and start a food fight.
Slap your committee chair with a glove and challenge him to a duel.
Arrange for a halftime show.
Bring a big foam hand that says "I'm #1."
Pass out souvenier matchbooks.
Hang a pinata over the table and hire a strolling mariachi band.
Make each professor remove an item of clothing for each question asked.
Use a Greek Chorus to highlight important points.
When necessary, say "I'm sorry Professor Smith, I didn't say 'SIMON SAYS any questions?'. You're out."
Dress in top hat and tails.
Hold a pre-defense pep rally, complete with cheerleaders, pep band, and a bonfire.
If you sense that things are not going well, threaten to detonate a small nuclear device in the room.
Show slides of your last vacation.
Put your overheads on a film strip. Designate a professor to be in charge of turning the strip when the tape recording beeps.
If members of the committee begin to argue among themselves announce: "OK, everybody - heads down on the desk until you show me you can behave."
When in trouble, begin speaking in tongues.
Answer every question with a question.
Hand out 3-D glasses.
Announce credits at the end. Include a "key grip" and a "best boy."
Make a practice of replying, "Sure, I could answer that, but then I'd have to kill you."
Ask a friend and conspirator to attend and ask the first question. Draw a blank-loaded gun and "shoot" him. Have him make a great scene of dying. Be sure to include fake blood. Turn to your committee and ask "Other questions?"
Wear clown makeup, a clown wig, clown shoes, a clown nose, and nothing else.
Install "APPLAUSE" and "LAUGHTER" signs.
Use a TelePromTer
Alter the clocks in the room and begin your defense 15 minutes before anyone arrives.
Anyway, so I have been hunting down advice on the internet for how to manage the damn thing...
This is the best I have come across
Things to Say and Do Guaranteed to
Spice up Your Thesis and Dissertation Defenses
Begin the defense by charging a cover and checking for ID.
Charge a two-drink minimum.
Begin with "Ladies and Gentlemen, please rise for the singing of our National Anthem."
Follow that with a joke that starts with "Which reminds me of a story - A Black guy, a Chinese guy, and a Jew walked into a bar..."
Bring coffee and charge 25 cents a cup.
"Charge the mound" when a professor beans you with a high fast question.
Describe parts of your dissertation using interpretive dance.
Lead your committee members in a Wave.
Break the tension at appropriate moments with a sing-a-long.
Answer tough queries with "You call THAT a question? How'd you ever get to be a professor?"
Have bodyguards outside the room to discourage attendance of certain professors.
Present your defense using puppets.
Before you begin your presentation, sell T-shirts to recoup the cost of copying, binding, etc.
In addition, pass a collection basket.
Answer complex issues in mime.
Use the ocassion to hold a Tupperware party.
Have bikini-clad models in charge of changing your overheads.
At approximately the mid-point of your defense bring out maracas and shout "Everybody rumba!!"
Explain nonsignificant findings with "It would have worked if it weren't for those f*%ing kids."
Refuse to answer tough questions "in protest of our government's systematic and brutal opression of minorities."
Offer door prizes and conduct a raffle.
Ask professors to "Please phrase your question in the form of an answer."
Interrupt every 15 minutes with the announcement "And now, a word from our sponsor."
Present critical parts of your defense in iambic pentameter.
In your announcement, inform your committee that it will be a black tie affair.
Hire the Goodyear Blimp to circle the building.
Announce to your committee that "There will be a short quiz after my presentation."
Bring your pet boa.
Bring snacks and start a food fight.
Slap your committee chair with a glove and challenge him to a duel.
Arrange for a halftime show.
Bring a big foam hand that says "I'm #1."
Pass out souvenier matchbooks.
Hang a pinata over the table and hire a strolling mariachi band.
Make each professor remove an item of clothing for each question asked.
Use a Greek Chorus to highlight important points.
When necessary, say "I'm sorry Professor Smith, I didn't say 'SIMON SAYS any questions?'. You're out."
Dress in top hat and tails.
Hold a pre-defense pep rally, complete with cheerleaders, pep band, and a bonfire.
If you sense that things are not going well, threaten to detonate a small nuclear device in the room.
Show slides of your last vacation.
Put your overheads on a film strip. Designate a professor to be in charge of turning the strip when the tape recording beeps.
If members of the committee begin to argue among themselves announce: "OK, everybody - heads down on the desk until you show me you can behave."
When in trouble, begin speaking in tongues.
Answer every question with a question.
Hand out 3-D glasses.
Announce credits at the end. Include a "key grip" and a "best boy."
Make a practice of replying, "Sure, I could answer that, but then I'd have to kill you."
Ask a friend and conspirator to attend and ask the first question. Draw a blank-loaded gun and "shoot" him. Have him make a great scene of dying. Be sure to include fake blood. Turn to your committee and ask "Other questions?"
Wear clown makeup, a clown wig, clown shoes, a clown nose, and nothing else.
Install "APPLAUSE" and "LAUGHTER" signs.
Use a TelePromTer
Alter the clocks in the room and begin your defense 15 minutes before anyone arrives.
Sunday, November 19, 2006
Bullying
I was pleased to read this report. I'm working with kids with developmental disabilities atm (autism, aspergers, learning disabilities, physical disabilities etc.) Some kids have great experiences at school, and find their school friends supportive and protective. Others find themselves victims of the most shocking bullying. In such situations, we hope that parents and teachers are able to step in quickly and effectively to put a stop to it, but that doesn't always happen.
Not that long ago I had a conversation with a teacher in charge of supporting children with special educational needs which more or less went along with, "Well, kids get bullied, they've just got to learn to deal with it."
IMHO - the teacher was talking rubbish and doing an incredible disservice to her students, both those who are victims of bullying & to those who are doing the bullying. What kind of message does it send to our kids when we overlook bullying? It's ok to beat up on kids who are smaller, not as smart, not as socially-able than you? It's ok for people to make fun of you?
I was bullied at school (not for very long and not very seriously). My dad actually called my headmaster as I once came home extremely upset. The head handled it extremely well, took it seriously, and it stopped immediately. I can't imagine what I would have done if the head had said, "Well, teenage girls fall out and say horrible things about each other, she's just going to have to deal with it."
Bullying might be normal, but its not acceptable. None of us should under-estimate its impact or fail to take it seriously.
Not that long ago I had a conversation with a teacher in charge of supporting children with special educational needs which more or less went along with, "Well, kids get bullied, they've just got to learn to deal with it."
IMHO - the teacher was talking rubbish and doing an incredible disservice to her students, both those who are victims of bullying & to those who are doing the bullying. What kind of message does it send to our kids when we overlook bullying? It's ok to beat up on kids who are smaller, not as smart, not as socially-able than you? It's ok for people to make fun of you?
I was bullied at school (not for very long and not very seriously). My dad actually called my headmaster as I once came home extremely upset. The head handled it extremely well, took it seriously, and it stopped immediately. I can't imagine what I would have done if the head had said, "Well, teenage girls fall out and say horrible things about each other, she's just going to have to deal with it."
Bullying might be normal, but its not acceptable. None of us should under-estimate its impact or fail to take it seriously.
Sunday, November 12, 2006
If I were a client what would they say...
A few months ago, I tried to identify with the clients I was working with in a learning disabilities service by writing a day in my life as I think staff in an LD unit might record it...
So, for your amusement....
CA was very slow to get out of bed this morning. Groaned for several minutes and then begged PD to iron shirt for her. Asked CA why she didn't go to bed earlier, she complained that she didn't have time to go to bed earlier as "I still have to make changes to my thesis, they're still asking me for more f***ing changes." However, CA was heard joking around with PD in her bedroom late at night. Staff should check she is using contraception.
CA went to work, was a little late, but nothing unusual for her. When CA returned from work, she had two medium bowel movements in the space of one hour (ASIDE: yes, they really do include notes on everyone's bowel movements, whether relevant or not, perhaps Peterson would like to take a job there...)
CA complained that she didn't fancy noodles (as planned) for tea and demanded mushrooms and garlic bread instead. This necessitated a trip to the supermarket. CA was about to be taken to the supermarket when her dad called, further delaying the process by some 30 minutes. When staff told CA to come, she made "get away" gestures to them and looked cross. CA seemed unaware that other people have better things to do than to take her to the supermarket. Staff should be less accomodating to CA's demands in future.
PD was writing a congratulations card to his brother who recently got engaged. CA became very giggly and tried to convince PD to include innuendo type comments in the card. PD seemed amused by her suggestions. Staff are worried CA may be a bad influence on PD.
CA seemed to enjoy watching Woody Allen film before going to bed. Woody Allen films may be a good way to distract her when she is being excessively demanding.
So, for your amusement....
CA was very slow to get out of bed this morning. Groaned for several minutes and then begged PD to iron shirt for her. Asked CA why she didn't go to bed earlier, she complained that she didn't have time to go to bed earlier as "I still have to make changes to my thesis, they're still asking me for more f***ing changes." However, CA was heard joking around with PD in her bedroom late at night. Staff should check she is using contraception.
CA went to work, was a little late, but nothing unusual for her. When CA returned from work, she had two medium bowel movements in the space of one hour (ASIDE: yes, they really do include notes on everyone's bowel movements, whether relevant or not, perhaps Peterson would like to take a job there...)
CA complained that she didn't fancy noodles (as planned) for tea and demanded mushrooms and garlic bread instead. This necessitated a trip to the supermarket. CA was about to be taken to the supermarket when her dad called, further delaying the process by some 30 minutes. When staff told CA to come, she made "get away" gestures to them and looked cross. CA seemed unaware that other people have better things to do than to take her to the supermarket. Staff should be less accomodating to CA's demands in future.
PD was writing a congratulations card to his brother who recently got engaged. CA became very giggly and tried to convince PD to include innuendo type comments in the card. PD seemed amused by her suggestions. Staff are worried CA may be a bad influence on PD.
CA seemed to enjoy watching Woody Allen film before going to bed. Woody Allen films may be a good way to distract her when she is being excessively demanding.
Monday, November 06, 2006
Rediscovering Life
Time for an update, methinks.
Since finishing my thesis, I've been rediscovering lots of things I had to give up while I was doing it. Amongst them - clothes shopping and make up. I have somehow gone from owning zero dresses to owning two, including the most incredibly sexy black dress I managed to convince my mum would be great for her wedding ;)! (I'm not playing the resentful step-daughter, dressed all in funeral style black for a wedding, honest!)
I found a lovely man at the make up counter (who inspired me by not having powerful and sickly wafts of heavy perfume floating around him, like the women almost invariably do...) to show me how to wear eye make-up...which, if you know me, is such an achievement. Eye make-up has always been a huge problem for me. I have terrible eyesight, even with glasses on - so putting on eye makeup with no glasses when I can barely see a thing out of one of my eyes often yields hilarious results. Just to make matters more fun, I have a slight tremor so often look like I'm going for a bit of a halloween look (which I'm really not...). Anyway, thanks to the nice make-up man, I think I've cracked it. I even got him to show partner-dude how to do it, so he can do my makeup for special occasions. Ha ha ha - what a man (partner dude that is)!
We've made it to the cinema twice - don't bother going to see 'The Queen' (if I'd known what it was about before I went, I wouldn't have bothered, but I was bored, it was on...). However, DO DO DO try to catch 'Little Miss Sunshine' - it is pure hilarity, and equally touching. I loved it - perfect!
We've moved to Suffolk - such an incredibly different part of the country than where we were. Traffic jams are what happens when there are tractors and/or animals in the middle of the road (makes a change, to the constant sitting in traffic we were used to)! What's with that?! I spent a month on a teaching block, missed partner dude horribly and came home a week ago to start my placement working with kids with developmental difficulties & their families.
We've found a lovely Quaker meeting, where we find ourselves feeling very at home and looking forward to getting to know people.
Anyway, better go - I've decided to get more out of my underused gym membership & embark on a new fitness regime, involving pilates and twice weekly spinning classes. I should have a bum of steel by Christmas. I have a pilates class this evening. (Wonder how long this will last for...)
Hope alls well with everyone else in the blogosphere :)
Since finishing my thesis, I've been rediscovering lots of things I had to give up while I was doing it. Amongst them - clothes shopping and make up. I have somehow gone from owning zero dresses to owning two, including the most incredibly sexy black dress I managed to convince my mum would be great for her wedding ;)! (I'm not playing the resentful step-daughter, dressed all in funeral style black for a wedding, honest!)
I found a lovely man at the make up counter (who inspired me by not having powerful and sickly wafts of heavy perfume floating around him, like the women almost invariably do...) to show me how to wear eye make-up...which, if you know me, is such an achievement. Eye make-up has always been a huge problem for me. I have terrible eyesight, even with glasses on - so putting on eye makeup with no glasses when I can barely see a thing out of one of my eyes often yields hilarious results. Just to make matters more fun, I have a slight tremor so often look like I'm going for a bit of a halloween look (which I'm really not...). Anyway, thanks to the nice make-up man, I think I've cracked it. I even got him to show partner-dude how to do it, so he can do my makeup for special occasions. Ha ha ha - what a man (partner dude that is)!
We've made it to the cinema twice - don't bother going to see 'The Queen' (if I'd known what it was about before I went, I wouldn't have bothered, but I was bored, it was on...). However, DO DO DO try to catch 'Little Miss Sunshine' - it is pure hilarity, and equally touching. I loved it - perfect!
We've moved to Suffolk - such an incredibly different part of the country than where we were. Traffic jams are what happens when there are tractors and/or animals in the middle of the road (makes a change, to the constant sitting in traffic we were used to)! What's with that?! I spent a month on a teaching block, missed partner dude horribly and came home a week ago to start my placement working with kids with developmental difficulties & their families.
We've found a lovely Quaker meeting, where we find ourselves feeling very at home and looking forward to getting to know people.
Anyway, better go - I've decided to get more out of my underused gym membership & embark on a new fitness regime, involving pilates and twice weekly spinning classes. I should have a bum of steel by Christmas. I have a pilates class this evening. (Wonder how long this will last for...)
Hope alls well with everyone else in the blogosphere :)
Thursday, September 21, 2006
Sh*t
I just sent my thesis to the bindery - almost four years to the day I started working on it.
Now, my next challenge - building flatpack furniture...right now, I think I'd rather go back to my thesis :S
Now, my next challenge - building flatpack furniture...right now, I think I'd rather go back to my thesis :S
Sunday, September 17, 2006
Whose backyard is is anyway?
Recently, I've been hearing an absolute plethora of sweeping statements about Muslims - mostly from middle of the road moderate Christians. I'm as cynical as they come these days, but even I've been surprised by the level of ignorance and hatred that's coming out of the mouths of normally gentle and calm people.
My favourites include, "Our religion is one of love, their's is one of hate." "Our God is forgiving, their God is full of vengeance." Hello - have you read the Old Testament? Why exactly did God need innocent blood to placate his wrath? What was that I heard about unbelievers burning in hell for all eternity, that's ok is it?
People keep saying the Muslim community should do more to prevent terrorism in their communities. Well - why is that? Is it Muslims' fault that young Muslims are becoming increasingly frustrated? And whose backyard is terrorism springing up in anyway? Do terrorists belong to the Muslim community? Or do they belong to our communities?
There's barely a person around High Wycombe (where I've been living and working for 8 months) that doesn't have some personal contact with the people who were recently arrested on suspicion of terrorism. I have met their neighbours, their friends and their former school teachers. One of the London bombers came from just up the road in Aylesbury. Terrorists come from our communities and its all of our responsibilities to work towards preventing terrorism.
The Muslim community here has taken action, but they cannot control loose canons. Leafleting is banned around mosques as people were handing out highly charged leaflets outside one of the mosques. The imams around here preach peace and tolerance. In fact, my experience of the Muslim community here (we live right in the middle of a predominantly Muslim area, and many of my clients at work were from the Muslim community) has been very positive - they are peaceful, welcoming and hospitable people. But, just like we can control loose canons in the Christian community, the Muslim community cannot prevent all extremism. I grew up in Belfast - there were certainly dodgy people in my church and a friend of mine from church wound up in prison for attempted murder which had something to do with paramilitary involvement - no-one ever preached a message of hatred or violence in the church I went to - yet, people still got involved with the paramilitaries and said they did it "for God and Ulster." (Interesting, that in the past when people talked about religion and violence, Christians in Northern Ireland were the top example, now its the Muslims.)
Its not enough to point our fingers at the Muslim community, and thereby increase the sense of suspicion and distrust they are very likely to experience in the current climate. Frankly, it does not help to make sweeping statements about Muslims. Perhaps we ought to ask ourselves whether we are doing all we can to work for justice for the Islamic people - what are we doing for the Palestinians or regarding the Kashmir conflict? What are we doing while our government liberally blows Islamic nations to shreds in Afghanistan and Iraq? What are we doing to support isolated and frustrated young Muslims, who care deeply about the situations their brothers & sisters find themselves in across the world, to get involved in the political process and ensure that out government takes positive action?
My favourites include, "Our religion is one of love, their's is one of hate." "Our God is forgiving, their God is full of vengeance." Hello - have you read the Old Testament? Why exactly did God need innocent blood to placate his wrath? What was that I heard about unbelievers burning in hell for all eternity, that's ok is it?
People keep saying the Muslim community should do more to prevent terrorism in their communities. Well - why is that? Is it Muslims' fault that young Muslims are becoming increasingly frustrated? And whose backyard is terrorism springing up in anyway? Do terrorists belong to the Muslim community? Or do they belong to our communities?
There's barely a person around High Wycombe (where I've been living and working for 8 months) that doesn't have some personal contact with the people who were recently arrested on suspicion of terrorism. I have met their neighbours, their friends and their former school teachers. One of the London bombers came from just up the road in Aylesbury. Terrorists come from our communities and its all of our responsibilities to work towards preventing terrorism.
The Muslim community here has taken action, but they cannot control loose canons. Leafleting is banned around mosques as people were handing out highly charged leaflets outside one of the mosques. The imams around here preach peace and tolerance. In fact, my experience of the Muslim community here (we live right in the middle of a predominantly Muslim area, and many of my clients at work were from the Muslim community) has been very positive - they are peaceful, welcoming and hospitable people. But, just like we can control loose canons in the Christian community, the Muslim community cannot prevent all extremism. I grew up in Belfast - there were certainly dodgy people in my church and a friend of mine from church wound up in prison for attempted murder which had something to do with paramilitary involvement - no-one ever preached a message of hatred or violence in the church I went to - yet, people still got involved with the paramilitaries and said they did it "for God and Ulster." (Interesting, that in the past when people talked about religion and violence, Christians in Northern Ireland were the top example, now its the Muslims.)
Its not enough to point our fingers at the Muslim community, and thereby increase the sense of suspicion and distrust they are very likely to experience in the current climate. Frankly, it does not help to make sweeping statements about Muslims. Perhaps we ought to ask ourselves whether we are doing all we can to work for justice for the Islamic people - what are we doing for the Palestinians or regarding the Kashmir conflict? What are we doing while our government liberally blows Islamic nations to shreds in Afghanistan and Iraq? What are we doing to support isolated and frustrated young Muslims, who care deeply about the situations their brothers & sisters find themselves in across the world, to get involved in the political process and ensure that out government takes positive action?
Sunday, September 10, 2006
I need a haircut...
I need a haircut, but I have been putting it off after my last experience at the hairdressers. Don't get me wrong, I came out with a very nice haircut, and I'm pretty accustomed to putting my foot down to the sales pitch, "No, really I do not want a bottle of shampoo that costs £50, I'm happy with the one I get in tesco."
My problem is the small talk, the terrible, irritating, chirpey small talk interrupting my precious quiet. But, surely I've put up with that every haircut I've had since I was old enough to have haircuts. And yes, I have and I can handle talking about holidays, the weather, what I'm doing for Christmas/easter/the summer. I can cope with that, its when they ask *that* question that my heart starts pounding...
HAIRDRESSER: So, what do you work at then?
ME: I work for the NHS (vain attempt to dodge the issue)
HAIRDRESSER: Really, what do you do?
ME: I work with people who have mental health problems/children with behavioural problems (here it comes)
HAIRDRESSER: Oooh, what as?
ME: An assistant/trainee psychologist (Sh*t, I've said it, better brace myself)
HAIRDRESSER: Really...
Whereupon the hairdresser almost invariably launches into something along the lines of...
-->"Can you read my mind?" (Ha ha ha, I've never heard that one before...but its an easy one to handle, "Sure, but it'll cost you £50.")
-->"I had depression and my GP prescribed me antidepressants, what do you think about antidepressants, should I take them? I thought I should have therapy, you know, I could talk about my terrible childhood/dodgy ex-boyfriend/..."
-->"Oh, my sister's kid is really badly behaved. I thought he might be autistic, what do you think? Oh, and I read something about ADHD the other day, and now they're talking about ritalin and, well I think its all an excuse for bad parenting really. What do you think I should tell my sister to do?"
The last hairdresser was the worst of all - I had to listen to a very sorry tale about a horrible childhood involving a very dodgy psychoanalyst.
Don't get me wrong, I like helping people - I love my job. If any of those hairdressers were at the other side of the consulting room at work, I'd know what to do and I'd be completely sympathetic. Indeed, if they were friends, I could handle it. But really, when I'm having a haircut, its the last thing I want to think about. Not to mention the sheer awkwardness of saying to a total stranger with a pair of very sharp scissors in her hand, "How terrible for you but its not professional for me to comment, now just get on with cutting my hair please."
At least doctors only have to put up with people showing them bunions and rashes and such like. So I am trying to come up with a ploy to dodge the question or ensure that the hairdresser doesn't wish to continue the conversation. Partner dude (a mathematician) never has these problems...perhaps I'll start fibbing. Can anyone think of any unbearably dull professions that are sure to turn a hairdresser off continuing the conversation (but are not so complicated just in case the hairdresser has sufficient knowledge of it, that I couldn't bluff my way).
Partner dude reckons I should tell them if they wish to continue talking about their personal problems/horrific childhood/dodgy sister that I should tell them they're welcome to continue but I'll charge them at private rate and deduct the cost of my haircut (I do think that's a bit mean. Although a friend of mine is employing it very effectively with unwanted telesales calls...)
My problem is the small talk, the terrible, irritating, chirpey small talk interrupting my precious quiet. But, surely I've put up with that every haircut I've had since I was old enough to have haircuts. And yes, I have and I can handle talking about holidays, the weather, what I'm doing for Christmas/easter/the summer. I can cope with that, its when they ask *that* question that my heart starts pounding...
HAIRDRESSER: So, what do you work at then?
ME: I work for the NHS (vain attempt to dodge the issue)
HAIRDRESSER: Really, what do you do?
ME: I work with people who have mental health problems/children with behavioural problems (here it comes)
HAIRDRESSER: Oooh, what as?
ME: An assistant/trainee psychologist (Sh*t, I've said it, better brace myself)
HAIRDRESSER: Really...
Whereupon the hairdresser almost invariably launches into something along the lines of...
-->"Can you read my mind?" (Ha ha ha, I've never heard that one before...but its an easy one to handle, "Sure, but it'll cost you £50.")
-->"I had depression and my GP prescribed me antidepressants, what do you think about antidepressants, should I take them? I thought I should have therapy, you know, I could talk about my terrible childhood/dodgy ex-boyfriend/..."
-->"Oh, my sister's kid is really badly behaved. I thought he might be autistic, what do you think? Oh, and I read something about ADHD the other day, and now they're talking about ritalin and, well I think its all an excuse for bad parenting really. What do you think I should tell my sister to do?"
The last hairdresser was the worst of all - I had to listen to a very sorry tale about a horrible childhood involving a very dodgy psychoanalyst.
Don't get me wrong, I like helping people - I love my job. If any of those hairdressers were at the other side of the consulting room at work, I'd know what to do and I'd be completely sympathetic. Indeed, if they were friends, I could handle it. But really, when I'm having a haircut, its the last thing I want to think about. Not to mention the sheer awkwardness of saying to a total stranger with a pair of very sharp scissors in her hand, "How terrible for you but its not professional for me to comment, now just get on with cutting my hair please."
At least doctors only have to put up with people showing them bunions and rashes and such like. So I am trying to come up with a ploy to dodge the question or ensure that the hairdresser doesn't wish to continue the conversation. Partner dude (a mathematician) never has these problems...perhaps I'll start fibbing. Can anyone think of any unbearably dull professions that are sure to turn a hairdresser off continuing the conversation (but are not so complicated just in case the hairdresser has sufficient knowledge of it, that I couldn't bluff my way).
Partner dude reckons I should tell them if they wish to continue talking about their personal problems/horrific childhood/dodgy sister that I should tell them they're welcome to continue but I'll charge them at private rate and deduct the cost of my haircut (I do think that's a bit mean. Although a friend of mine is employing it very effectively with unwanted telesales calls...)
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
The terrorists!
The terrorists
The terrorists
The terrorists are coming!
They think their book is the direct word of God
Its violent
Its bloodthirsty
Its full of blood and gore.
The terrorists
The terrorists
The terrorists are coming!
Their book is not like ours
Ours' is just infallible
And not really quite so violent.
Besides, our God is love.
The terrorists
The terrorists
The terrorists are coming!
They're brainwashed
Their religion
Tells them what to think.
Its dangerous
My friend, it is indeed.
The terrorists
The terrorists are coming!
They think their book is the direct word of God
Its violent
Its bloodthirsty
Its full of blood and gore.
The terrorists
The terrorists
The terrorists are coming!
Their book is not like ours
Ours' is just infallible
And not really quite so violent.
Besides, our God is love.
The terrorists
The terrorists
The terrorists are coming!
They're brainwashed
Their religion
Tells them what to think.
Its dangerous
My friend, it is indeed.
Thursday, August 31, 2006
What's the difference?
What's the difference between God and a psychiatrist?
...
...
...
God doesn't think he's a psychiatrist.
...
...
...
God doesn't think he's a psychiatrist.
Friday, August 25, 2006
Gmail ads
I'm not quite sure what to make of this - I have a gmail account and it gives me little advertisements. I've never actually clicked on one before, but it seems to have picked up that I've been emailling people about furniture recently.
So I clicked on a website called "Zen furniture" and look what I found - how totally random! Not sure what it is....click here but please, only if you're over 18. Sadly, it doesn't quite fit within our current furnishing budget...maybe later...what with buying all this furniture now, we'll need something for the wedding list later... ;)
If I do buy one, I'll be sure not to tell you. But if you ever see one in someone's house, you can give them a knowing smile or naively ask, "What an interesting piece, in what position do you sit on it?". Ho hum.
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
Fill the legs of our dinky table...
ARGH!
Well, partner dude and I are moving in one month. We thought we'd try to rent a furnished flat as our current list of furniture includes two desks, one desk chair, a bookshelf, a CD rack and a crap plastic stool that cost less than a fiver.
But, no such luck. We found one furnished flat, and my God, was it a hovel - a disgusting, musty smelling place on the top of a block of flats - unfit for animal, never mind human habitation imho. Frankly, I don't think we could even manage to lug our meagre furniture up the steps, much less fit it in the tiny little flat at the top!
So, sod that we thought, and went and signed ourselves up for an unfurnished flat. So now we have to cobble together enough furniture to sleep in, sit in and eat off in our new, rather nice apartment. (Its dead posh!)
On our furniture shopping expeditions we came across this little table and are thinking of buying one for fun. The legs are hollow and you can fill them. So, any novel ideas of what to put in them?
Well, partner dude and I are moving in one month. We thought we'd try to rent a furnished flat as our current list of furniture includes two desks, one desk chair, a bookshelf, a CD rack and a crap plastic stool that cost less than a fiver.
But, no such luck. We found one furnished flat, and my God, was it a hovel - a disgusting, musty smelling place on the top of a block of flats - unfit for animal, never mind human habitation imho. Frankly, I don't think we could even manage to lug our meagre furniture up the steps, much less fit it in the tiny little flat at the top!
So, sod that we thought, and went and signed ourselves up for an unfurnished flat. So now we have to cobble together enough furniture to sleep in, sit in and eat off in our new, rather nice apartment. (Its dead posh!)
On our furniture shopping expeditions we came across this little table and are thinking of buying one for fun. The legs are hollow and you can fill them. So, any novel ideas of what to put in them?
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
Get paid for your opinion...
If you sign up to yougov here, they'll pay you for giving your opinion. You just get short surveys every now and then, for which they pay you about 50p - £1. Once you clock up £50, which takes a while, they put it in your bank account. Nice :)
Best of all, if you sign up using this link, they'll give me some points too :)
Best of all, if you sign up using this link, they'll give me some points too :)
Saturday, August 12, 2006
In our sleepy little town???
It was a bit of a surprise, to say the least, that five of the suspected terrorists were arrested in High Wycombe - a rather unremarkable little town, where we live.
As always, when these things happen, my thoughts turn to my Muslim neighbours who suffered so much in the aftermath of the attacks in London last summer and following the attacks in NY and Washington in 2001.
Sometimes, when I go to a Quaker meeting, I try to remember what a close friend of mine told me once about going to the mosque, surrounded by teenagers shouting abuse. When I tell people I consider myself to have Quaker leanings, I do not have to worry about their reactions - no-one's scared of the Quakers. I spoke with a Muslim psychiatrist a while back who said he is weary of people asking him questions about terrorism, as though there was nothing else interesting or relevant about Islam than its response to terrorism.
I will try to remember these things as the Muslim community around me fall under suspicion at this time, and ask myself, what can I do in solidarity with the thousands of British Muslims, and the hundreds of Muslims in our immediate community who want to live peacefully just as much as I do.
I appreciated Jonathan Cook's (originally from High Wycombe) reflections on the recent arrests.
As always, when these things happen, my thoughts turn to my Muslim neighbours who suffered so much in the aftermath of the attacks in London last summer and following the attacks in NY and Washington in 2001.
Sometimes, when I go to a Quaker meeting, I try to remember what a close friend of mine told me once about going to the mosque, surrounded by teenagers shouting abuse. When I tell people I consider myself to have Quaker leanings, I do not have to worry about their reactions - no-one's scared of the Quakers. I spoke with a Muslim psychiatrist a while back who said he is weary of people asking him questions about terrorism, as though there was nothing else interesting or relevant about Islam than its response to terrorism.
I will try to remember these things as the Muslim community around me fall under suspicion at this time, and ask myself, what can I do in solidarity with the thousands of British Muslims, and the hundreds of Muslims in our immediate community who want to live peacefully just as much as I do.
I appreciated Jonathan Cook's (originally from High Wycombe) reflections on the recent arrests.
Friday, August 11, 2006
How to be an ally...
I answered the door to someone at work this morning. An older lady, who had just arrived for a meeting. She wasn't sure where it was so I said, "Ah, no problem, take a seat and I'll call the secretaries' office" (conveniently located, might I add, at the back of the building & upstairs so no-one can find them). "Seminar room" says the secretary. "Oh...ah, um," says I. "That a problem?" asks the secretary. "Er yes, this lady has a walking frame, I am not sure if she will be able to manage the steep flight of stairs up to the seminar room." "Oh," says the secretary, "well that's where the meeting is, tell her not to worry, we'll get someone can carry her up the stairs."
I mean, how humiliating to have to be carried up a steep flight of stairs, doubtless by two strangers. I was so embarrassed and it was nothing to do with me! We have downstairs meeting rooms, they could have (and should have) moved the meeting. I know for a fact there were other rooms free. More to the point, they shouldn't have booked the upstairs seminar room in the first place, its not like the lady was unknown to them, she'd had meetings before.
HOW STUPID AND SHORTSIGHTED CAN YOU GET?!
When an organisation with equal rights policies coming out of its ass & elbows, and a particular focus on people with disabilities, manages such a monumental cock up, you have to ask just how progressive we actually are.
Anyway, it made Peterson's latest blog post seem all the more relevant.
Listen. Then Listen. Then Listen some more. The work of being an ally requires deep listening and understanding. I explained that as a white man I often get it wrong. Being an ally requires a graceful resilience. Because of the society where I was raised and the many messages I received, I am racist, sexist, homophobic, transphobic and insensitive to the needs of people with disabilities. I have to unlearn much of what has been engrafted into my mind.
I mean, how humiliating to have to be carried up a steep flight of stairs, doubtless by two strangers. I was so embarrassed and it was nothing to do with me! We have downstairs meeting rooms, they could have (and should have) moved the meeting. I know for a fact there were other rooms free. More to the point, they shouldn't have booked the upstairs seminar room in the first place, its not like the lady was unknown to them, she'd had meetings before.
HOW STUPID AND SHORTSIGHTED CAN YOU GET?!
When an organisation with equal rights policies coming out of its ass & elbows, and a particular focus on people with disabilities, manages such a monumental cock up, you have to ask just how progressive we actually are.
Anyway, it made Peterson's latest blog post seem all the more relevant.
Listen. Then Listen. Then Listen some more. The work of being an ally requires deep listening and understanding. I explained that as a white man I often get it wrong. Being an ally requires a graceful resilience. Because of the society where I was raised and the many messages I received, I am racist, sexist, homophobic, transphobic and insensitive to the needs of people with disabilities. I have to unlearn much of what has been engrafted into my mind.
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
Regina Spektor
Thanks to Brandice, I've discovered Regina Spektor. Its wonderful music, I love her voice. Have a listen to some of her songs:Samson
Fidelity
Us
Ode to Divorce
Promo stuff (a bit wibbly on the old camera there)
Monday, August 07, 2006
The BIGGEST onion bhaji ever seen...and see partner dude's hand!
We had friends come down for the weekend a couple of weekend's ago - quite special for us as we know hardly anyone (let me rephrase, we know nobody) in our local area.
So, we all went out for a fantastic Indian meal at a local Indian restaurant. We ordered an onion bhaji, and no kidding, it was the size of a baby's head! We shared it between the four of us.
It was just so enormous I thought I'd share a photo. And, you get to see partner dude's hand, helpfully holding a 20p piece to help you fathom the size of this monstrosity.
Monday, July 31, 2006
Calling all ladies - do your bit for science
Can any women reading this blog complete this survey about HPV and cervical cancer. I know the student running the survey will really appreciate your taking part.
Come on, do it for the greater good :)
Come on, do it for the greater good :)
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